By Matt Butcher
The fine art of kissing can be one of the most pleasurable experiences you will share with your partner, whether you are lovers or just like each other a lot. It’s also one of the first truly sexual experiences that most people encounter as they are growing up. Of course there’s different types of kissing, but for the purpose of this article, I’ll be talking about the type of kissing that carries sexual undertones. This means the pecks you give your mother don’t count as far as this article is concerned. If you’ve never kissed anyone sexually, you might want to go ahead and read this article because this information just might come in handy some day. If you have, great, but maybe you’ll learn something new that will be sure to spice up your romantic encounters. Kissing is a natural act, but many people are unable to just sit back and relax and cause their partners to see stars with their excellent kissing skills. Some people will be great at kissing, and others may never be more than average no matter how much they learn about the art. This doesn’t really matter though, as long as you can learn to feel confident and be sure that your partner feels great about sharing this experience with you. There are several key points you can learn that will help you accomplish this:
The first key to becoming a better kisser is to think about how you feel during the whole kissing experience. This may seem selfish, but kissing is a highly reciprocal act. This means that if you feel like the kiss sucks, then the person you are kissing probably does too. Focus on making the other person feel good by relaxing. This includes your whole body, your head and neck, and especially your lips. Loosen up a bit and try to let things just flow. Once you get to know your partner better, you’ll start learning their perks and this includes how to sweep them off their feet when you kiss them. If you don’t, you won’t have to worry for long because they’ll be gone and you’ll have to start over with someone new.
The second important key is the flow of events during a kissing experience. You don’t want to just attack someone like a sandwich with your mouth wide open, your tongue hanging out, dripping wet with anticipation. If you do, the whole act will be awkward for you and your partner and afterwards you’ll have a hard time proving yourself worthy of your partner’s lips during future encounters. Approach the whole situation just as you would a strange explosive device that you are about to attempt to disarm. Move in slow, with great care and gentle caution. Initial contact should be lips only, firm yet gentle. After a few cycles of lip kisses with maintained contact, you may want to open your mouth slowly and move in with your tongue (more on this a little later). This stage will probably vary greatly depending on the point in your relationship with this person. A first kiss probably isn’t going to be nearly as heart-felt and as passionate as one with someone you’ve kissed often, but you’ll know where you are and how to handle the intensity. React to how your partner is kissing. If they speed up, speed up with them. If they slow down, do the same. Try to synchronize your actions with each other, but be sure to pay attention so you don’t ruin the whole experience. Eventually you’ll learn to match and complement your partner’s kissing rhythms so that the pleasure and good feelings you get from the kisses are as desirable as possible.
There is much more to a kiss than just lips and tongues. To experience the full pleasure of the act you have to be resourceful! Don’t forget to use your hands, your nose, and even your breath to elevate your passionate kissing ventures to a new level. From personal experience, I know that a woman loves to be touched while she’s being kissed. Use your hands to gently caress her cheek, her back, the tops of her arms, and especially her collarbone and jawbone right before and during the kiss. Rubbing noses is also extremely pleasurable, and can cause some sexual giggles between the two of you. Giggles are always a sure sign that you’re making them feel special. Using your breath is also important. Providing your partner with extremely light, warm feelings on their face, neck, and mouth can be an extremely arousing feeling. I remember the feeling from exchanging breath with my partner through our noses. This was very erotic and I know it helped to get both of our sexual juices flowing a bit more rapidly. This sensual foreplay can really enhance a kiss and make your partner feel great.
Wait, you say, I haven’t said anything about the actual kiss yet! All I can give in this area is some really general advice; you’ll have to learn what is right for you and your partner on your own. Relax your face and lips, take things slow, and open your mouth enough for some explosive tongue interaction, but not too much. Don’t stick it out either; you want to do that while your lips are locked. Angle your head slightly; you don’t want anything awkward to happen when your heads approach.
Once you are actually French kissing your partner, feel free to explore with your tongue. You may want to try using gentle breaths to some effect, but however you do it, just remember to breathe! Feeling the wet, warm feeling of someone else’s tongue pressed and interacting with your own is definitely something you’ll not soon forget, and through practice and experience you’ll come up with your own little pleasurable ways of kissing your lover.
Besides just mouth-to-mouth action, you’ll probably want to try kissing other areas of your partner’s body at some point in the relationship, depending where you are right now. Gentle kissing or nibbling of the earlobes can be extremely sensual for either gender. Just as women love to be touched and caressed, you may also find your partner loves to be kissed in the same sensitive areas as mentioned earlier. The most affectionate and most sensual type of kiss I remember giving a past lover was one on her forehead. I took my hand and placed it softly on the back of her head, slowly drew her toward me, and gave her a single, slow kiss on her forehead. Every time I did this her reactions always showed me that she knew how much I cared for her, and for us this was one extremely intimate act that meant a lot to both of us.
Through all of the technical details of kissing, just remember that most important aspect is letting your partner know how much you care for them and making them feel good. If you falter at first, with time and experience you’ll get better. Feel free to experiment; learn what they like and how they like to be kissed by varying your methods. Once you reach the point of being able to communicate on a completely non-verbal and spiritual level while you kiss your partner, you’ll know you’ve been doing something right.