Laura Roberson, Men’s Health
Even if she’s in control, a woman prefers a different sexual approach than men do, which may explain why lesbians climax more often than straight women do.
Tame your tongue
Men enjoy tongue play; it mimics penetration, but guys can be too aggressive, says Aline Zoldbrod, Ph.D., a sex therapist in Boston. Women, by comparison, start softly, with teasing and sensual sucking. “It’s all about timing, pacing, and a gentle beginning,” she says.
Savor her entire body
Quickly zeroing in on her hot spots can derail her arousal, says Zoldbrod. “Men and women enjoy different types of touch, which may be the reason straight women enjoy same-sex experimenting,” she says, “A woman touching another woman takes her time with light kisses and gentle touching of nongenital areas, such as hair, shoulders, and arms. This is extremely arousing.”
Let her decide
Lesbians have sex less often yet they are more sexually satisfied than straight women, a Rutgers study found. In hterosexual relationships, women may hesitate to say no, and may end up having unwanted sex. Reassure her that you don’t expect to hook up every time you hang out. This puts her in control, which can boast her libido, says Zoldbrod.
Take your time
Women agree: The big O is awesome, but so is the rest of sex. “Men are very orgasm-centric,” says Victoria Zdrok Wilson, Ph.D., author of The 30-Day Sex Solution, “but when women interact, it’s more about the process, experiencing each other. They’re likely to explore, and they know there’s no exact formula.”
Embrace her vibe
Some straight women fear that sex toys might threaten their partners, an Indiana University study reveals. “We didn’t have lesbian women saying that,” says author Debby Herbenick, Ph.D. If she brings out her toy, welcome it.