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Fantasy Day: Hers vs. His

3 Comments 31 August 2011

“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” ~John Lennon

Her Fantasy Day

8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses

8:30 Weigh-in 2 lbs lighter than yesterday

8:45 Breakfast in bed with freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants; then open presents… expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner

9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil

10:00 Light workout at the club with handsome, funny, personal trainer

10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry, and professional makeup application

12:00 Lunch with best friend at a fashionable outdoor café

12:45 Catch sight of partner’s ex and notices she has gained 17 lbs

1:00 Shopping with friends… unlimited credit

3:00 Nap

4:00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist; card is from secret admirer

4:15 Massage from strong but gentle hunk, who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body

5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, prim and parade before full-length mirror

7:30 Candle-lit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners & dancers

10:00 Hot shower… alone

10:25 Get carried to bed… (Freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen)

10:30 Make Love… Just like in a romance novel

11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling

11:15 Fall asleep in his big, strong arms

His Fantasy Day

6:00 Wake up to a fantastic blowjob already in progress

6:15 Drink fresh, delicious coffee in bed while relaxing

6:30 Have a massive, satisfying shit while checking out the sports, headlines & twitter on Smartphone

7:00 Breakfast: chicken fried steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked and served by a nude, beautiful woman

7:30 Limo arrives

7:45 Drink premium vodka Bloody Mary en route to the airport

8:15 Flight in personal Gulfstream Jet

9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club (blow job en route)

9:45 Play front nine at Augusta (2 under)

11:45 Lunch: shrimp cocktail appetizer; fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, green beans, squash and corn bread; delicious peach cobbler for dessert; 3 beers.

12:15 Blowjob

12:30 Play back nine at Augusta (4 under)

2:15 Limo back to airport (several bourbons en route)

2:30 Private jet, Augusta to Nassau Bahamas (nap)

3:30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with female, topless crew

4:30 Land world record light tackle Marlin (1249 lbs)

5:00 Private jet back home (massage and hand job enroute)

6:45 Shower and Shave

7:00 Watch news: Barack Obama and Joe Biden resign… Ron Paul takes over interim Presidency

7:30 Dinner: Lobster Newburg appetizers, 1966 Bordeaux, big juicy Filet mignon, followed by mango ice cream served on a big pair of boobs

9:00 Relax after dinner with Louis XIII de Rémy Martin, Grande Champagne Cognac and Davidoff Double ‘R’ cigar, in front of a 73” TV

10:00 Sex: Really great sex, the kind that leaves you sore and smiling the next day

11:00 Relax in Jacuzzi while enjoying a nightcap

11:45 Go to bed

11:50 Let loose a 12 second, 4 octave fart. Watch the dog leave the room

11:55 Fall asleep, laughing

Your Comments

3 Comments so far

  1. Domoarigato says:

    I think the only thing left out under His Day is that apart from ‘Fuck me!’ and ‘Yes!’, there is NO CONVERSATION ALLOWED during and after sex.

  2. Krystal says:

    The woman’s day sounds boring, lame and just plain dumb. I would much rather experience the man’s fantasy day. (Switch out a few minor details of course)

  3. Z says:

    Pretty sure the no convo during sex part was a given… weirdo

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