Laughter, Sex

30 Ways to Use the Word ‘Fuck’

11 Comments 26 July 2011

From Monty Python [edited & expanded by David Voth]

Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word ‘fuck’. Out of all the English words that begin with the letter F, ‘fuck’ is the only word that is referred to as “the f-word.” It’s the one magical word. Just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. ‘Fuck’, as most words in the English language, is derived from German. The word fleichen, which means to strike.

In English, ‘fuck’ falls into many grammatical categories:

As a transitive verb for instance: “John fucked Shirley.”
As an intransitive verb: “Shirley fucks.”

It’s meaning is not always sexual:

It can be used as an adjective, such as “John’s doing all the fucking work.”
As part of an adverb: “Shirley talks too fucking much.”
As an adverb enhancing an adjective: “Shirley is fucking beautiful.”
As a noun: “I don’t give a fuck.”
As part of a word: “Absofuckinglutely,” or: “Infuckingcredible,” and, as almost every word in the sentence: “Fuck the fucking fuckers.”

As you must realize, there aren’t too many words with the versatility of ‘fuck’. As in these 30 examples describing situations such as:

1. Aggression: “Fuck you!”
2. Agreement: “You’re so Fucking right, or Abso-fuckin-lutely.”
3. Annoyance: “Don’t Fuck with me!”
4. Benevolence-”Don’t do me any Fucking favors.”
5. Command: “Go Fuck yourself!”
6. Confusion: “What the Fuck!?”
7. Denial: “Are you Fucking me!?”
8. Despair: “Fucked again.”
9. Difficulty: “I don’t understand this Fucking shit.”
10. Disdain: “Fuck off!”
11. Dismay: “Oh, Fuck it!”
12. Dismissal: “Why don’t you go Fuck yourself?”
13. Dissatisfaction: “I don’t like what the Fuck is going on here.”
14. Encouragement: “Fuck me harder.”
15. Etiquette: Please pass the Fucking salt.”
16. Exaggeration: “She’s Fucking gorgeous!”
17. Fraud: “I got fucked at the used car lot.”
18. Identification: “Who the Fuck are you!?”
19. Ignorance: “He’s a Fucking idiot!”
20. Incompetence: “He’s a Fuck-up.”
21. Inquiry: “Who the Fuck was that?”
22. Laziness: “He’s a Fuck off.”
23. Offer: “Wanna Fuck?”
24. Passive: “Fuck me.”
25. Philosophical: “Who gives a Fuck!?”
26. Praise: “You Fucking rock!”
27. Rebellion: “Fuck the world!”
28. Rejection: “You’re not Fucking me.”
29. Trouble: “We’re Fucked now.”
30. Ugliness: “That’s so Fucking ugly, or That’s ‘Fugly’.”

I’m sure you can think of many more examples. With all of these multi-purpose applications, how can anyone be offended when you use the word? We say, use this unique flexible word more often in your daily speech. It will identify the quality of your character immediately. Say it loudly and proudly: “FUCK YOU!”

Your Comments

11 Comments so far

  1. Jim Carter says:

    Fuck this post.

  2. David Voth says:

    Well played/said Jim.

  3. Wodka says:

    does the “give-a-fuck-meter” imply that your getting fucked? (since its in the negative)

  4. David Voth says:

    The give-a-fuck-o-meter is simply an illustration of the versatility of the word fuck.

  5. Dave Packowski says:

    I gave at the fuckin office!

  6. David Voth says:

    I love that one. I should have had a category for office contributions. 🙂 I might update the article. Donations: I gave at the fuckin office!

  7. Timingspx says:

    This shit be fucking funny. I follow you’re fucking ass on mother fuckin twitter. Follow me and re tweet if you want those whiskey drinking cigar smoking hot babe fuckin pigs to make some fuckin money.

    Peace fucker

  8. Caramella says:

    This piece was remixed a few years ago by an Australian producer… It got a lot of airplay here!

  9. Kales says:

    We all know that the majority of this (if not all) is from Monty Python……right?

  10. Bomabosto says:

    Didn’t George Carlin do this Fucking bit 30 fucking years ago?

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