Dating and Relationships, Enjoyment, Sex

Maximize Her Pleasure Above the Waist

5 Comments 25 April 2011

By Dr. Madeleine Castellanos

Any woman knows that most men love breasts. From your stash of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issues to the way you ogle our chests in low-cut tops (um, our eyes are up here, guys!), it’s obvious that you like to look.

So, tell me: If you love breasts so much, why do you so often neglect or manhandle them during sex? The truth is, that while our breasts may be a pleasure to behold, they’re even more of a pleasure to a woman when held (and caressed) correctly.

In one study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, nipple/breast stimulation caused or enhanced sexual arousal in 82 percent of women, yet 25 percent asked their partner to stop stimulating their nipples/breasts during lovemaking. That’s a sign that many guys need some help in translating their appreciation into action.

Here’s a quick course in Breasts 101

• Breast sensitivity can vary quite a bit from woman to woman, with smaller breasts generally being more sensitive than larger ones. Also, breast surgery (including implants) can impair sensitivity, depending on whether the surgery preserves the nerve responsible for the nipple/areola area.

• Speaking of nipples, contrary to popular belief, they are not the most sensitive part of the female breast. The tops, bottoms and sides respond the most to stimulation. So think of yourself as the equivalent of a living comfy bra, one that can massage and support (and even lick) those areas, too.

• A woman’s breast sensitivity also varies with her menstrual cycle; many women even find their breasts too sensitive to touch in the days just before their period.

OK, enough fun facts—on to the advanced stuff

Want to know why breast stimulation is so pleasurable for most women? It’s all about oxytocin. This feel-good substance, also known as the “cuddle hormone,” is released when the breasts and nipples are stimulated—even during breastfeeding. Oxytocin is also responsible for the nipple becoming erect during excitement and stimulation, caused by contraction of smooth muscle underneath the skin of the areola, which pulls on the overlying skin creating a goose bump-like effect.

So next time you’re enjoying her breasts, think about what you can do to increase her enjoyment, too. Start off slow, with gentle pressure. Most women find this approach to be the most intense. Then, as her excitement builds, increase the simulation with more intense pressure, sucking, pinching, nibbling, etc. The hotter she gets, the more she can handle. Breasts can increase in size about 25 to 30 percent when a woman becomes sexually aroused and can tolerate stronger stimulation. If you’re unsure what to do, encourage her to show you and touch her own breasts—that can be a turn-on for both of you.

As the breasts continue to receive stimulation, oxytocin continues to be released into the bloodstream. The hormone’s most intense effects occur within the first 5 minutes after release, but can continue to increase uterine contractions for up to an hour. And the more you stimulate her breasts, the more oxytocin her body releases. The result? Her orgasms will be stronger and feel like they’re affecting her whole body.

As discussed in the Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms, about 1 percent of women can experience an orgasm just from having their breasts and nipples stimulated! So next time you want to appreciate her breasts, try to boost her into that 1 percent with these tricks—and reward both of you with her pleasure.

Dr. Madeleine Castellanos

Dr. Madeleine Castellanos is committed to helping others learn about their own sexuality and how to achieve physical and emotional balance in their sex lives. In addition to being an assistant professor of psychiatry at Albert Einstein College of Medicine, she is a member of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, and the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health. She is based in New York City. For more information, please visit

Your Comments

5 Comments so far

  1. ginger says:

    So what about those smaller, more sensitive breasts you mentioned? You couldn’t find a model that was under a DD cup? Or had real breasts for that matter? Grrrrr.

  2. David Voth says:

    Big or small, we like them all. It just so happened that this article attracted some bigger ones. 😉

  3. Rene Provencher says:

    I love and adore small tiny breasts with big nipples. I DO KNOW how to pleasure a woman with her breasts and toes, yes toes believe it or not. Toe massage I can make a woman go crazy sexy in love.

  4. Ryan says:

    Believe me the best part about SEX is BREASTS.. The more you squizze, the more the lady would want to take up the penis inside.. Its all about TITS!!

  5. saaz says:

    Extremely nice article.Breasts need a hubby’s caress and tongue all the time.When they are sucked the pleasure is heavenly.I personally like it rather like his hands over there only playing with Nipples.

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