Not all drunks are created equal. Depending on your size, shape and sex, it’ll take varying amounts to get you slurring your words and saying things you’ll eventually regret. When determining what tips you toward tipsy, you’ll obviously also want to take into account the type of drink you enjoy consuming. Surprisingly, malt liquor isn’t the cheapest and fastest way to get drunk. That distinction is held by none other than Franzia boxed wine. So to make this happen for you in the most salubrious way possible, first download BlackBook’s free iPhone app to find the best bars, restaurants, and clubs in your neighborhood where you can drink your cares away. Next, check out the graphic after the jump that investigates various paths to inebriation. Drink responsibly and drive carefully.