Booze, Enjoyment, Jokes, Laughter

The Positive Effects of Alcohol ~ Humor

Comments Off on The Positive Effects of Alcohol ~ Humor 26 April 2010

The Positive Effects of Alcohol by Mark Murphy

Alcohol has some wondrous effects! For instance, it makes you a better dancer. Yes, it’s true! I once was a shy and awkward fellow in the social scene, but after a few (or a few too many) drinks I was magically transformed into Fred Astaire, MC Hammer and Rick Flair all rolled up into one.

Alcohol improves your memory! By helping you forget all the troublesome and often unpleasant issues in your life, alcohol allows you to concentrate on the more important matters. Pesky details like bills, contraceptives and stop signs become a thing of the past thanks to the amazing powers of alcohol! I could now concentrate on important projects like beer can pyramids and vomit puddles.

Alcohol improves your vocabulary! Ahh… your tongue will become an amazing linguistic tool. Be ready to astound and amuse your friends and colleagues with your new-found ability to wordify! Not only will your current speachyness get bigger but your ability to create new and more colorful talks will be mores. Yup, alcohol will make you talk more gooder.

Alcohol will make you a better person! Alcohol allows you to develop a more powerful and outgoing personality. No longer will you be a timid wallflower. With just a few glasses of your favorite drink, you’ll have to confidence to express your opinions in any and every venue. Finally, your true self can be shown! Isn’t it time to let other people know what kind of person you really are?

Go out and enter the magical world of alcohol!
Expand your horizons and discover your true self while finally shedding all those unpleasant facets of your life like your mortgage, family, and pants. Attack life with the gusto that was once reserved for only the elite. It’s time you lived life to it’s fullest!

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