Booze, Enjoyment, Pictures

9 Ways to Hide & Protect Your Booze

3 Comments 28 April 2010

By David M. Voth

The sign says “No Alcohol Permitted.” However, that doesn’t need to stop you. Why should anyone be allowed to decide when and where you can drink, provided you’re not being an obnoxious asshole about it? Therefore, I decided to uncover some of the cleverest ways to hide, and covertly transport your booze. Some of these inventions you can buy and some you’ll have to build yourself.

First, what if your office has a no “visible” booze policy or you’re concerned your nosey co-workers might swipe your hooch. What do you do? You manufacture a creative solution to conceal your stash. Here are a few examples:

Hide bottles of booze in a bookcase cabinet hidden behind some fake binders…

Use a large binder to discreetly obscure your favorite bottle and a couple of glasses…

Conceal a flask in a book that resembles a Bible, or any other book for that matter, and just lay it on your desk. Who’s going to pick up your Bible and check it for whiskey? …

Link to product page

Here’s link to a “how to” website to learn how to make one yourself

But what if you’re a beer lover and you require some refrigeration at the office. Again, no worries, I’ve got you covered. Use a few empty copier-paper boxes to camouflage your fridge, making it look like it’s just part of the copier-paper inventory…

Next, you want to go to an event or a park where some oxygen-thieving bureaucrat has domineeringly decided, by his own tyrannical authority, to forbid you the pleasure of consuming your favorite beverage while you enjoy the venue. No problem! I have discovered several more unique ways to take your booze with you that won’t be discovered or challenged. Here they are:

Women can carry wine in a “wine rack,” a sports bra with two internal bladders to carry wine next to their ta-tas. No one is going to feel you up to find out if your boobs are natural or “implants”…

Link to product page

Here’s a link to a video of Katie Lee Gifford modeling and demonstrating one in the news studio

Men can carry beer in an insulated beer belly bladder. According to the CDC, 67% of American adults aged 20 years and over are overweight or obese, so wearing it won’t even make you look strange, you’ll just look like one of the majority…

Link to product page

Men or women can easily carry a Sippin Seat with Hidden Flask. Sip effortlessly from out of your seat and say goodbye to long lines and over-priced drinks with one of these…

Link to product page

How about a solution for the gold course? You can hide 48oz of your favorite booze disguised as a golf club in your golf bag, completely insulated…

Link to product page

What if you want a cooler, more suave, way to disguise your passion for distilled spirits? The Solution: get yourself a Brandy Smuggler Walking Cane Flask, a genuine walking cane that carries booze. Crafted by the world renowned, century-old cane masters at Harvey, the walking cane flask can support up to 250 pounds (a typical person only exerts 75-100 pounds on their cane) and holds 10oz of your favorite booze! The secret? Ordinary looking on the outside, the top of this walking cane flask quickly unscrews to reveal five 2oz hidden flasks made of hardened glass with airtight caps, that’s 10oz total! …

Brandy Smuggler Walking Cane Flask

Link to product page

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